Hot Employees Will Help Your Budget

A study in the Journal of Consumer Research correlates spending habits of consumers in the most dire of shopping situations: when he or she comes face to face with a hotter person trying on the same outfit (or worse, an employee wearing the store’s clothes).  Basically, shoppers with low self-esteem who see an attractive employee or consumer trying on the same outfit are more likely to put the dress back on the rack, and then presumably head for a pint of Double Fudge Brownie ice cream. 

There is a lesson to be potentially learned here for business owners.  If certain American Apparel creepy business-owners want to save a bit of money, perhaps they should pay a small bit of heed to this study and discontinue the practice of pseudo-illegally hiring employees based on appearance.

And for those of us on a budget, and who apparently have such low opinions of ourselves that a hot employee might detract us from a purchase, we should immediately go on a shopping spree with an entourage of our hottest friends.  Therefore, we can save our money while simultaneously fostering an ascent of self-loathing.

And lastly, for our dear friends in Congress, I propose that we turn this study into a full-blown stimulus plan.  It should be mandated that only mediocre to unattractive people may be hired in a retail environment.  Then people who have a habit of scrutinizing themselves can wholly boost up that fickle ol’ economy by their recently found onslaught of self-confidence at the mall.

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