This blog does not primarily exist for updates into my personal life. However, two very funny things happened today, which I naturally felt must be blasted all over a virtual space.

I recently signed up for my first ever online dating website. I did so with timidity and trepidation. I feared everyone who messaged me had three limbs, terrible shoes, and lived with his mother, while simultaneously worrying that they were thinking the same thing about me (I did buy a really horrible pair of shoes last weekend). But as time went on, sane messages accrued, and my viral personhood turned optimistic. I began to think that maybe there really was something to this whole internet dating craze.

That was until I received two messages today from OkCupid.

The subject line of the first message is as follows:

“Rachel! JoblessForever is checking you out right now!”

And a few hours later, another message came that read:

“Rachel! GarbageBags is checking you out right now!”

Well OkCupid, it was nice while it lasted. Looks like it’s back to the old-fashioned way, i.e., meeting a guy who’s forever jobless with three limbs, bad shoes, and living with his mother at a bar! And only on the weekends after a vodka or two! I realize it’s a bit antiquated, but I just find that I prefer to do the dating scene with a touch of tasteful and classy panache.